DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with a random girl I met at a party and I can’t stop feeling guilty about cheating.
I’m 23 and I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year. She’s 24.
She never seemed that keen on me initially. It almost felt like she didn’t care, because she would only agree to see me every other weekend even though we lived close to each other.
She’s a nurse and I know that her shift patterns are difficult but it all seemed very casual and I didn’t push her for more at that stage.
Then one of my best female friends invited me to a work party as her plus one.
I was chatting to some of her colleagues when this girl came over and introduced herself. She said she had seen me sometimes waiting in the car park for my friend.
I felt rather flattered that she recognised me. I bought some wine and as my mate was off with her friends, we got to know each other. She said she was 21. She kept topping up both of our glasses and we started dancing. She slipped on some ice on the dancefloor and I went to save her but caught her dress. One of the straps broke at the back.
We were both laughing but she pulled a safety pin out of her handbag and asked me to go with her to the disabled loo to help her fix it. We locked the door behind us and I grabbed the strap from behind, but then ran my hand across her shoulder. She turned to face me and I kissed her.
The kissing got more intense and I pulled her dress completely over her head and there she was standing in all her glory. We had incredible sex, admittedly not in the nicest of places but I’ll never forget it, though we didn’t see one another again.
It’s now nearly ten months later and my relationship has developed. My girlfriend is about to move in with me and I feel so guilty about that night at the party.
I can’t tell her or I’ll lose her just as things are going well, but I feel like an awful person